My Life Story...

Re-Live...

2011-12-19T00:25:00.002+08:00

Hi there,
Decide to re-live my own name own blog name again... Why?

About six months I didnt blog, I did write diary... but I think sometimes are good to share... and also the bad things too.

Well well well, doesnt matter... In this life, there are bad and good things, whatever it is, it just part and parcel of your life... things maybe bad, but without the bad, you wont know the good. And same as vice versa, this really make each and everyone life unique.

Within these 6 months, many things happened and yes... time is a wonderful thing...
Heals everything, realize many things. whatsoever.

Just wanna tell you all that I am really happy now. and I am counting my blessing now...

She taught me love. And I will treasure it always no matter what is your past. I do have mine and you also accept it...

I love you dear.

他爱她，她爱他。

2011-06-26T22:51:00.001+08:00

被爱是幸福的。
被你不爱的爱是痛苦。
爱你不爱你的人是折磨。
爱你爱你爱的人是童话故事。

Is this ur dream job?

2011-06-26T05:07:00.001+08:00

I think i did blog about this quite sometime ago.
Well I will re blog again. Yes. Right now in a new work place. Now is 5 am in the morning. I am at 15 storey again to see the sunrise soon!
Though I am super duper tired. But I think I really like where i work. It is a dream to work at wee hours and at such high storey! Hmm think I fulfill it.

3 yrs ago I did experience but it was just temperary... Right now in the end user environment and I really think is so much better!

Simple life

2011-05-25T23:56:00.001+08:00

Just came back from a simple village. Where u can see the stars at night. Where life is really slow. Where there is no stress!

Was wondering about my life, how come some people can just be so happily simple while we are here to slog for some other people. Doing what they feel like doing and happily doing it with passion!

Haiz.

Who fault?

2011-05-17T22:39:00.001+08:00

男人花心，女人水性杨花。
谁的错？
苍天总是爱开人玩笑！

Happy 29 birthday to me!!!

2011-03-16T01:18:00.001+08:00

Today is 2月12日 in lunar calendar!!! And I am 29 years old. So fast!!!! Going to be in this world for 3 decades!!! Wow! Shocking when I think about it. Anyway, just came back from work troubleshooting some case! Well confident that it was not our fault but still go back and help.
My supper after I came back from work!!! Lol.
And a little bit of drink lol!!!

Anyway. Had been thinking alot lately. Hmm.

Yup quite lately wanted to share with my besties sister and bro. But they are too busy. And I was called back to work. If not just now i would be able to share with them! Haiz or issit a curse when I meeting them? Lol I don't believe. Anyway hope I cam have time to share with them!!! Anyway a 750 ml beer. Think I getting abit high. Better don't say so much now. Nights everyone. And happy 29 birthday to me!!! Will be celebrating my 28 soon. Everyone will be turning the power off and celebrate with me! So nice of them!!! Lol

Security Concerns...

2011-02-17T00:25:00.002+08:00

Anyway, it is a new year so I shall have a new blog... will want to input my favourite nice songs to share with u all. Nice things to share with u all!

Last of all i want to forget about the past...even the sweetest moment i will want to forget!
It is so painful for me... for the past few months... I will want to move on... but my heart always staying put there... I hope I can do it!

I will start to blog at another URL...
Instead of szegay.blogspot.com, I will use my nick to replace my name.
stay tune...

First day

2011-01-16T04:50:00.001+08:00

Waking up at 420am in the Sunday morning!

The road seems so lonely.

Heading towards airport t1.

Another one to one talk

2011-01-16T01:04:00.001+08:00

Yup another one to one talk session. And realized i had grown. Hmm.

Anyway... It doesnt matter any more.

Yup. Had an accident on wednesday night. Happily bought a new back pack. On my way home, some one kiss my backside. Hmm from a big backside become a small backside.

Anyway, got a new backside soon. Realised the bang Er had an accident 2 weeks ago and now he had another accident. I pity him but can't do anything.

Btw he borrowed his daughter car and lend me as my replacement. And it was a Honda stream. Well the only thing I like is the engine. I still miss my vios! But I really like Honda engine!!! Hmm.

one to one talk

2011-01-13T22:24:00.001+08:00

Hmm I think my interest lies in chatting haha. Tuesday night spend time with my fren at void deck talking about life work an rs. Now at Brewerkz also with a fren talking about the above things. But different people have really different things to talk.

Hmm. I think we are old. Lol

Sunday is an emo day!!! Yeah!

2011-01-09T21:51:00.001+08:00

Today was a very taxing day. Didn't get to sleep for the past 33 hrs. Wow. Seems like I going back to do the previous project? Lol

Anyway was working on sat morning then went to eat old town food. Then went for grandma birthday celebration cum farewell to her brother.

My grandma and him had a age gap of 14 yrs. Then my father and him got an age gap of 12 yrs I think. So they were very close when they were young.

He was a captain of the ship in china. They came from a very poor family. So my grandma had to work to feed the house. And he also tried his best to become a sailor. Well, I rem when I was like 10 over kg. He would carry me and showed me around his ship when he docked at Singapore which is like 20yrs back. Wow. Sweet memories. I think I still got the photo.

Anyway, he is leaving. Going back to china. It really be very fast. One month stay with my grandma. And I believe grandma also very happy even though she keep scolding him. Lol. Brothers and sisters wat right?

This year I will try to plan a trip to china. Maybe to look for him with my parents.

Hopefully so. Really miss him, he always like to tell history of china and the current political issues faced in china. Lol

Conversation...

2011-01-07T00:24:00.002+08:00

.:*xUaN*:. says:
even if u do
this r/s ure already at a losing end
and
r/s is not only about love
what keeps it going
is how much u can tahan each other weak pt
even before starting
she already so irritated with ur shortcommings
what is going to happen when u really get together
u wil be fighting all the way
find a person who loves u for who u r
she isn't the one

.:*xUaN*:. says:
it takes time to forget
esp when u dun have r/s b4
esp when she was so near to be ur gf
the first time is aways very magical
very nice
well, smile, cos at least u have love b4

Sze Gay says:
i should have no regret..
because i gave my best
and that is my best...

.:*xUaN*:. says:
find a girl who treasure u for who u r
u won't be so upset now

Started packing

2011-01-06T00:54:00.001+08:00

Really hate this period of the year. Saw tons of receipt and realized that I had spent so much last year. Haiz....
This was given to me by my ex gf on my 16 birthday. The battery can actually last for 12 yrs!!!!
I had been collecting all the movies tickets. See... This whole stack consist of all the movie I had watched!!! Really scary. From 90s till now. See if u can spot any of the movie that we watched together?
We went to Chinese garden on the mid lantern festival when we were poly year 1!!!! Who was there? Haha we got photos! SHURONG LINGYING and me.
Still rem we can take ferry to Sentosa? 10 yrs already!! Time really flies!
sorry about the pictures. But this was my first concert and it was at the world trade center!!! I rem I bought 3 gals with me. Now Mrs Tan, shurong and I think HUISHAN....
My first theater at victoria. Ms Saigon. I was 17. Poly yr 1? I think I watched I with Erm. Haha. How cab I forget? But u all don't know who she is lah.
And this is the best. I learned my open water for 360. Good bargain!! Where to find so cheap now? And mind u. Is at tioman!

Yeah just throwing things away. I not emoing. Hmm or maybe yes. Ten yrs. How many more ten yrs do I have?

Blogging in the toilet

2011-01-05T16:10:00.001+08:00

Lol
Smelly? Lucky technology is not that advance.
Anyway, thought of something. Thinking of emoing again ha.
Hmm. Life can be troubled by 4 things.
Relationship
Money
Career
Health
I think most of us at this point of time will be relationship and career.
Hmm. Relationship not just bgr and also family and relatives.
Career, thinking is this the life u want to lead?
Just heading to another cross road of my life.

Hmm so many things to consider and yet don't know where to start with. Confusingly confuse.

Hmm can life be simple a bit? I not asking alot. Just some direction.

Different phrases of life is a challenge. Take it. Face it. Enjoy the process bah.

Why am i so busy lately?

2011-01-05T15:40:00.001+08:00

Maybe because I love my job?
Well, I had been doing morning and afternoon shift lately. Morning equals to must be office at 8am till 530pm. On and off there are cases and I can only leave at 6. When I reach home, I already feel super tired.
Afternoon shift meaning 1pm to 8pm which include sat 8am to 2pm. Hmm so this week I am on afternoon shift. And yes when I reached home , I am super tired. Don't know why last time I had the energy to go run and climb after work. Haiz. Things do change. For the better? I hope so.

Anyway, I need to get back in shape. Run, climb and cycle. The park is almost done. Maybe I will go and buy a pair of blade to go roller Blading at Bishan park. Anyone?

And yes recently my relative from china came... So weekend will be accompany him around Singapore. Ain't had too much time for myself. Brought him to marina barrage at night to view the skyline of singapore and the lovely led kites. Then morning brought him to tree top walk. He is ard 74 yet he is still very fit to walk about total 7km to experience the rainforest. Hmm anyway thought of alot of places in singapore and let me emo again haha shall go for my cycling and jogging again. Luckily this is the only place i had memories for myself.

I need time to
Rearrange my thoughts
Throw away things in my room.
With myself
And to settle my own problems.
And recently I had make a mess out of my life.
Seriously messy!!! Just like the condition of my room!

Love love love

2011-01-05T00:06:00.001+08:00

Hmm. Yesterday had a discussion with my friends. Why can't a relationship be like fairytales. Two people come together then they live happily ever after? Guy saw gal and gal saw guy. They are together then both live happily ever after.

Y must everyone think of the person past? The future? Wat is more important is now. Now. U know. Hmm maybe u don't know. Anyway it doesn't really matter now bah.

If u don't know how to treasure. U never will. Good luck to u!

emo songs...

2011-01-04T01:14:00.002+08:00

hmm after listening to JJ new songs, she says. I saw this song sang by JJ. It was Jay Zhou's second album, quiet.

The lyrics... Now that i really appreciate...

我想你已表现的非常明白我懂我也知道你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信牵着你陪着我也只是曾经

你要我说多难堪我根本不想分开为什么还要我用微笑来带过

你已经远远离开我也会慢慢走开为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份安静的没这么快我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你

hmmm sometimes when we encoutered something and we listened back the old songs... it really does touch the person very well...

From a person who doesnt know what love, until deeply hurt by it because of some reasons... I think I learned something...

This is life. Journey of discovering and experiencing it. 我会学着放弃你是因为我太爱你

1st jan 2011

2011-01-02T01:02:00.001+08:00

I had a good sleep. I think I need it after my morning shift work. I had been sleeping late and waking up early to work for the whole week. And works really give me stress. Maybe not so much as before but still busy handling cases and doing changes! But I think I am happier.

Anyway, went to fish market last thursday with my buddies and we spent 295.90 on food!

Then countdown I wad at home.

1st of Jan just let me emo.
The above bicycle was bought on sometime last Jan, after receiving my bonus. And I didn't use it for more than 4 months.

At first I bought this because I thought I am going to be alone. Well, life got its up and down. Someone ask me not to ride and accompany her. But in the end, what has happen?

Then today, my cousin came to my house. I dig out a lot if bags and gave him. The first was a sling bag Crumplers which I think I won't use it. And I had never use it. The second was my laptop bag dicota. Think it has been 5 yrs. But the first use was like 2009 may? When I went back to study again and when I was still doing big. After that I got my Timbuktu on Jan during the bouldermania 2010. Using it till sept cause I need not bring laptop home!!! Lolx

Hmm suddenly emo giving away my stuff. But yes happier because I got a owner who will use them.

Another long day ahead for tml. And yes next week will be a longer week.

31st Dec 2010

2010-12-31T21:59:00.003+08:00

The last day of 2010. Many people will post things on facebook and yes... bah bah...
i will too.
I am very tired... i dont know why.
Let me recall something...
2009 - Last year new year... I think i was at weiming house celebrating.
2008 - was at labrador park... but miss the fireworks. Was able to see it at the expressway bridge...!
2007 - at sheares bridge? or was it the previous year?
2006 - hmm still cant rem. lol
2005 - i think is at weiming house also.
2004 -
2003 - at Tekong! doing guard duty.
2002 -
2001 -
2000 - We went out but go home early... so I stayed at home.

In a nutshell, i think most of time i am at home or at somebody house...

2010... a few more hours... I am still at home. lol! yup...

Anyway... was thinking through... some time alone... to really think about my life... I remember that some days ago, I told myself it will be a different person from today onwards... yesh... i think i will... is time to put those things behind and work for my happiness...

Anyway, those friends who had directly help or indirectly help me... I really appreciate...

I rem told my friend... Live and Let. Forgive and Forget.
I will do it. And yes it will be a better tomorrow.
What is the history is there... you cant turn back time.
U cant treat it as nothing happen, it will make it worse.
Only thing is to face it, and live with it...
move on.

2011 will be a good year for boar... and boar can really help alot of other zodiac like chicken, rabbits and tiger... hmm I wonder...
believe it or not...
anyway... wish all my boar friends... happy new year!

My christmas present

2010-12-29T00:08:00.001+08:00

These are my Christmas present!!!

But I think I like this
And I finished the whole thing. It was very nice!!!! Thanks friend!!! Lol.
Actually I can't bear to eat it. But if o don't. It will be wasted. So I finish it. No more oven break. Lol

Nag and nag again.

2010-12-26T23:46:00.001+08:00

Why? My cousin got gf is his problem. Why need to pressure me? Ask me anyhow get a gf. Then if future I anyhow divorce how? Haiz.

Nowadays, gals are not like ur era. When they married, they will follow their hubby. I also want to have gf but no fate, no chemistry how? Stop pressuring me. Think i already got the adverse effect... Please.

Movie marathon

2010-12-26T12:56:00.001+08:00

Went for two movies yesterday. Afternoon watched little fockers. Then at night watched yogi bear. Hmm. Wasn't really fantastic for both movies. But I like yogi bear. Maybe cos is one of my favorite cartoons when I was young?
Anyway didn't get to see yogi gf. Lol. But well is as enjoying as it is. It is quite Erm not sure the word to use. But is just some nostalgic feeling and yeah it brighten up my emo day. It doesn't matter whether it worth the money cause it just give me the feeling of going back when I was young. Really like it.

冬至

2010-12-23T00:11:00.001+08:00

Today is dong zhi. The day when all of us grow older. The day where we should meet up with ur family. Hmm. Well today meet up with my friends a good gathering and a good chatting.

We are afterall working for quite some time. Trying to say out our woes and share among us.

Anyway, somehow we get into the topic of paradoxes. One of my fren say she was happier when she earn less as compare to now. When more money means more responsibility. If u are not passion about it, it will means more chores.
I was telling them that the more we earned the more unhappy we are.
I was telling them that for my job. I was praying hard that nothing happened, then I will have nothing to do. But only when things happen then I will learned more. Haiz. Sound strange right?
Is like smaller cars wanna go fast, and bigger car going slowly when they can go fast.
Like when we were young, we want to grow up and earn money. And now when we are old we wish we can be kids.
Sometimes in work we just wants a comfort zone. But living in the comfort zone will make u feel no challenge and bored.

So life is really paradoxes right? Or a very ugly name in Chinese. 人是范贱的。

I think in a relationship is like that too. When u want to give all ur love to a particular person, the person will want to run away. But when u want love from the person, the person don't want to give.

Like parent and child. Parent love the child but the child wants to run away.

Is life. Treasure ur love ones.

Lunch at bedok

2010-12-22T15:26:00.001+08:00

I was alone doing afternoon shift and now the time is 3:15pm. At the coffee shop having my lunch.

Thinking and thinking about the life I am having through. Think dec is a emo month also. Haha.
Well, looking back the previous years, thinking back what I had done. There were regrets and there were happiness.

I think there were lots of things that i had experienced and had made me grow.

Thanks everyone!

Well. Two years wasn't long but it definitely not short. From a fresh grad to where I am know. I still learning. But just that in the working world. The social university had really change a person. The university really provide something that school would not have taught. It also provided the experience that being Interns also cannot get.
Well I think this is working life. I still adapting to it. Trying to adapt sometimes. Trying to escape sometimes.

I think the following year, new year resolution for me is quite simple. For the pass few years my new resolutions are those normal stuff. And for last year, I do not have any. Well because I thought I had a wonderful life and continued it was what it is. Never did I think that accidents do happens and yes things will still screwed up. Longing to be back to the past, but time will never go back.

Well well well. A new year has come. Trying to have my new year resolutions. Hope I can be better than last year.

Am I so lucky?

2010-12-21T23:57:00.003+08:00

Duty week again and I kenna called back to office again... AM I That suay?
well... anyway, i still feel that is OKAY... compare to the past. WHY?

At least i know after checking the necessary thing. Thing will be a stop.
Not for the past.
Well shouldnt talk so much about the past...
But this really makes me ponder over alot of things...
shall not say it here...

will share with u guys and gals once we are out.

yup is all about job! every job is the same... haiz... hmmm

day 4 and day 5

2010-12-21T23:46:00.002+08:00

I shall talk about the day 4 and day 5 together...
Day 4
wake up early and left for Malacca.
Same thing. Had breakfast and off we go to Malacca using the old route. wow super power loh... sure giddy lucky i didnt had much breakfast...
anyway stop at Yong Peng and had some toilet breaks. then proceed to one of the stop and had lunch there... those selling food had no creativity. Selling the same thing. haiz... no choice had maggie goreng! then proceeded to Malacca... Reach Malacca at about 3pm. went to eat the hainanese chicken rice but sold out. That was early. Anyway, had Laksa and chendol... then check in Holiday inn... i think the hotel room is great too! wow!!! really nice... then rested and went out again to shop at makota. As usual, then to hettan square...! well nothing much there.. but the swimming pool was great! got my niece and nephew to swim and then call it a day!
Went to bei zhan restaurant for dinner! a nice place to eat... I think 5 years ago we went there too! places changed alot!

Day 5
Had our hainanese chicken rice in the morning. then went hunting coffee powder for grandma but was closed. then went for coffee at CIMB bank! well surprise right... anyway is old town coffee!

Then went back hotel and swim with my niece and nephew... while parent went to buy coffee powder... then quickly change and set off to singapore! Reached Singapore about 430pm, went home alight stuff then proceed to grandma house!

A 5 day trips end so fast... good time flies fast! haiz...

Day 3.

2010-12-20T22:17:00.002+08:00

Rise and shine, and we went to Tea planation after our breakfast at the hotel! a Fabulous experience. Those new driver please beware.
Road are very narrow and extremely winding.
Went climbing up the hill to have a view point. then proceed with high tea at the restaurant. Visited how tea are made. and bought lots of tea.
Then proceeded to BEE farm!!! not much there... well really nothing much. just to buy honey that's all.

Then proceeded back to hunt for The lord cafe.
And we got it, it was good ambience... really nice to stay there... maybe I fine day can drive up there just to drink coffee! lol

After that rested at hotel again.

went to Kea Farm and bought lots of cactus!!! and is very cheap! anyway, on our way down we went to visit the cactus plantation too.

Then steam boat!!! yeah with the cold weather, and hot soup!! shiok loh...
then went to the big night market to shop. My mum sure know how to shop bought lots of vegetables and strawberry!!! Hmm wonder how long it will last?
anyway....

on the way back to hotel, bought some jagon. haha really very nice... then back in the hotel room to play pop pop... if you all can remember those tadpole thingy that u throw on the ground and it will pop!

Had a fun time with my two kids!!!

Day 2...

2010-12-20T22:09:00.002+08:00

A nice sleep. Hoping that was my room... if only.
Anyway, wasnt a good sleep. but well, is still not bad.
No breakfast. And we set off to Cameron Highland at about 9am.
Taking the longer road, meaning we will head to Ipoh...
Finally, upon feeling Vios stress up climbing up the hilly roads.
We had a stop over at Kampung Raja. Well, it was a good place. So we headed to the hotel. However, we pulled over at the Water Cress Valley. It was a good place to eat lunch, I bet dinner too.
It was pouring heavily and we rested a while before continuing the journey to hotel.

Reached Hotel, rested awhile and went for coffee and nonya food. the weather was good then, sunny, windy... shiok!
Then proceed to Strawberry farm, to see them pluck strawberry. Was a good experience bah even though i didnt go to pluck.
Went back to hotel after that and rested before setting of for dinner.
Dinner was good. Then walkabout at the night market and had my ramly!!! yeah...!
Yup. Heard something from Vios when i travelled around at the hilly area it was very scary...
anyway that's all!

A 1325.25km road trip...

2010-12-19T23:04:00.003+08:00

I did enjoy myself!
It was a fabulous ride, where going through valleys, up the winding routes, squeezing through a single lane to the hill tops to see planation with the sturdy old vios.
A trip that Vios went up to 180km/h, @ 5000rpm. The engine was still able to take it.
Anyway, the following is day 1 trip.
Basically the itinerary were as followed:
Gathered at Taman Jurong, my old house Mac Donald.
Then went up to find Ampang Yong Tau Foo.
Check in Crowne Plaza Hotel, I believe from the FB you all can see how nice it is!
Dinner was not really good cause eating at Lot 10 Food court, I ordered something that is not nice.
Then proceeded to Sungei Wang, which my friend told me is a dangerous place.
Anyway, we did some shopping at Pavilion and coffee at Old Town.

That was my day 1 at KL stop over.

Will be posting the day two. It will be more interesting...! stay tune.

Was this my second time?

2010-12-19T02:18:00.001+08:00

Long time never blog. I think I got tons of things to blog but haven't got the time. I will be posting my road trip later on so stay tune.

Anyway went to church the second time? I think so. Well, this time it wasn't that scary. It was peaceful and yeah good to attend. And after the church we went to chill out. It was a nice chilling session. I think is because of the right people bah. Well u will ask a non Christian with so many Christian what can we talk? Hmm of course not religion related but it was some other chatting. I think it was wonderful as compare to erm. Anyway it doesn't matter.
We had nice food, nice drink and nice scenery and nice people around. Was really a wonderful night.

Get to know more about God, and I personally like one of the Chinese songs. The lyrics is wonderful and I had posted onto my fb. Really nice to see it. Hmm. Anyway, trying to upload my photos on my road trip to Malaysia. Wad really great! Hope this ends my beautiful 2010.

Yup 2009 and 2010 were years that I wished I had never been through. But well, no point looking back. And during malacca trip, I saw some nice painting. Telling me to thank all the people around u including those who had spiked u, anger u, do whatever bad things to you. For all those things that they had done is to make u a better person! I learned and thanks. Thank you to all my friends or maybe some of you may not be as close to me as before. Is all about choices. I tried my best. Thank you! Hope u have a better life. And best of luck. Year 2010 going to end soon. Shall make my new year resolution soon.

And yes this morning was at hong xing eating dim sum with my grandma and her brother. Hmm then suddenly my grandma asked me to bring a anyhow bring a gf to let her see. Hmm. Then I told her that the truth i had not find any good gals. Sad to say that. But well is the true bah. No good gals left. Or rather i had not meet the right one. I can't simply anyhow bring and then anyhow get married then anyhow get divorce right?

Maybe because of so many factors last time that really make me wanna find a gf for them to see. Haiz. But this sort of thing got to really see fate bah.

Thanks!

remember 摘星？

2010-12-02T21:54:00.002+08:00

A very classic phrase... but my army mate posted another yet emo-er phrase...

塵世間最遙遠的距離不是我站在你面前, 卻不知道我愛你, 而是明明知道彼此相愛卻不能在一起

I was wondering... in life, there are so many I call it pity relationship... it is quite pity when two person are really in love yet because of wrong timing there cant be together...

A pity I would say that alot of people that other people think that they are very compatible couples but yet had to end up separated and then years after one party regret but is too late... they both had to move on... but it is really a pity in the first place that things can really sort out if both parties had do something...

Another pity was that I saw alot of couples after so many years and they break up... What in the first place they want to be together? I mean things do change... but then if in the first place cannot be together then what for drag like 2, 3 years? hmm... One party unwillingness leads to both party agony...

anyway... i think we people like to see sad things which would like to link us to the saddest moment we had... that is why those sad song are really nice to listen... especially tonight, when the air is cool and the atmosphere is really emo...

spend some time to think... i am not emo-ing dont worry!

never had this feeling before..

2010-11-30T23:29:00.002+08:00

yesterday was on leave. I woke up feeling wonderful... I think it has really been a long time since i had that kind of feeling... wake up with no stress! hmm
Longing for the time to go holidays! actually I am really looking forward to this sunday... people wil say i am crazy... 42km... is a torture to urself... well... i think after the second time running... i think 42km is really nuthing... it is really just a matter of finishing it....anyway it will be due soon in 4 days time.. i am really looking forward to. then i will be on leave on monday! can have a nice rest again!

Wow... I got this type of de jevu feeling... think it had happen to me before.. but it may be too long ago... and i had forgotten about it...

Anyway, over the weekend had a nice jogged. Nice breakfast... and nice afternoon nap... then followed by a wedding day... hmm nice gate crashing, nice photo shoot, nice dinner... and nice 15 years of friendship! then followed by a nice sleep and then a nice afternoon tea... less away those stuck up people... then followed by some nice shopping at anchor pt! lol.. with a nice hotdog! lolx... I really love shopping in ikea... especially at alexandra!

hmm talking about friendships... maybe i am those traditional, old type of thinking... for so many years... i dont like the tendancy of putting my hands over their shoulders, waist to take photos... and I had never hug them before... hmm I think I need to refrain from doing that because I will only do that to my girlfriend or wife... think all my good best gal friends knows that... hmm... i not trying to explain or proof anything... i just want to let those good friends of mine to understand why i didnt like to do it... WE are FRIENDS, deep down in my heart I know if i got problem be it emotional or physical... I know and u all had proven that u will come to me... and yes.. be it u all got problem... I will definitely help... Friends forever!

some touching story

2010-11-22T23:48:00.002+08:00

2 years ago, when i watched this movie with my best friend... I almost cried...
over the last weekend, I bought the dvd and watched it... and I almost cried again... lolx!

Anyway, i just feel like going to heng chun to take a look... hmmm...

Keep on hearing miss miss krabi!

2010-11-21T23:27:00.001+08:00

I also start to miss the life there. Hmm can we go there next year? Eat sleep climb kayak and eat pathai and drum stick by the beaches! Woohoo.

Can't upload too many photos?
I was injured. Blister burst and bleed. But I still miss the place. Is really very nice. Don't know how to describe. Anyway, I did not finish this route. Had to ask Eric to clear the runner, feeling so bad. Haiz. Luckily we got him if not the runner will be there!

Really really miss to go back again and I bet I will find back the happy moments. U know some place when u go back again u will not find it nice. But it will not happen to krabi.

Some songs that remind u of past events?

2010-11-21T18:41:00.001+08:00

I was listening to radio after the run when I heard this song. 哭。this song was I think when I was in primary primary or secondary school. Forget exactly when but it was by 阿牛。the first album 对面的女孩看过来。I like this song alot because of the lyrics. Especially the below mentioned.

只有真正懂得付出的人
才懂得何為哭　為何哭
再堅強的心偶爾也會脆弱
心會痛　心也會感動
只有曾經真心付出的人
才懂得何為哭　為何哭
淚水要記得為真心保留
眼淚別白白的流

I can't find the MTV cause I don't think it exist.

"only when u truly give then u will know the reason why u cry.
Only when u had give out wholeheartedly then u will know the reason why u cry.
After u cry u must know u had cried because u had truly gave.
Don't let ur tear drops without a reason"

Thinking back... I had given my love wholeheartedly. And well people dont appreciate it or rather doesn't really know the reason why a guy will cry. And that is the cruelty of life.

Recollection...

2010-11-18T00:04:00.003+08:00

I had been wanting to write this post for some days... anyway... hopefully I had the inspiration to blog now. Listening to the music, turning on the stars lighting which I bought from IKEA one yr ago. Burning the aroma oil... trying to get into the mood of blogging...

As you listen to the songs, maybe you can start to browse down here.

About a month ago, my uni hall fren told me some story. So yeah, will like to share it with you all. And this philosophy also been in my mind for like years since the day I left secondary.

The story goes like this...
Remember the days, when you still can hear those malay auntie went around selling curry puffs in our HDB? I bet those who had childhood like me will miss those curry puff, ice bag, chwee kway, chee chiong fan...
Anyway, this auntie sold very nice curry puffs and everytime she will manage to sell everything, earning what she had sold.
My friend asked her, why not go and open a shop to sell curry puffs.
Auntie questioned back, why does she needs to open a shop to sell?
My friend: Cause youn sell more curry puffs.
Auntie: Why sell more curry puffs?
My friend: Cause you can earn more.
Auntie: why earn more?
My friend: Cause you can earn more money and employ people to work for you and you can stay at home to shake you leg.
Auntie: isnt what i am going home now and do it?

So what is the moral of the story?
My previous boss always tell me, you are young you should chiong and take more responsibility. And raise up the coperate ladder.
Back to the moral of the story, the story in short is telling people to learn how to be contented. Yes, no doubt, the journey or the process to the happy shaking legs at home is wonderful. But isnt she enjoying the moment now? She also had the hardwork of waking up early, putting effort to make nice curry puffs. She is taking a little steps at a time, and she is happy every day. As compare to if she trying to open the shop, she might in the middle of the route lost herself.
What I trying to say was that I am currently content with my life on my work. I do not have big expectations! And I am happy with it.
But different people may think differently, we cant blame them, because they might think by doing challenging job will get them to be more satisfactory. Well, they might be happier. But definitely not me in this job. I rather go slow and content with my current life.

That's about my working life.

Coming to the topics of friends...
People come and go, yes, they will leave prints in ur mind and hearts. At a certain period of time, they were there with you. when this phase of life is finished, they might left you and had other friends. you will be like left out. try thinking through your life in primary to now. each part you had friends, some stay and some left, it is very hard to be with all your friends. what matters most is that they had once gave you beautiful memories. You must thank them for it. I thank you all for giving me my life story a story. If they had move on, you should move on too. Well, best friends no need to have too many, to me I am blessed with a handful of them and they had really been there for coming to 15yrs.

Another thing that I want to blog was that, someone had enlighten me. Looking through the friendster testimonals really boost my morale. I get to know myself better from the once LOST self. I am who I am.

Past 2 years had been a dream, there were good and bad, but I finally wake up by the chatting session yesterday night with my bestie pal, Shuyi.
Actually, not only her, there was lingying too! both of them were my bestie friend! and yes, Terence who will be there for me everytime I got problem. And there are alot of others best friend who I had met in recent years be it in Singapore or Australia. And recently, another friend who really enlightened me! Inspired me to look back the past and ask who am I. I really appreciate that. thank you my pals... I am Blessed with care and concerns from all of you all! Thank you!

Must learn how to say no

2010-11-15T00:10:00.001+08:00

I think I very easily conned by the people I love. Haiz. Life lesson learnt. I always give in to those people that I love. For example, if the person said that I had done so and so. If I really never do. I will tell them I never do. But if they keep on insisting that I did. I will admit is I did just to settle all the problem. But just realised, this may lead to more miscommunication. Haiz. Anyway, I don't really think is my fault. They don't believe the first sentence and keep on believing in their sixth sense I have nothing to say. Haiz. Am I too good? I just want a peaceful life. If admitting to it can solve the nagging part I will just admit. Cause right in my heart i never do it. I can swear. Trust. Is very difficult to build on someone u love most. I tried. Have u?

Network engineer

2010-11-13T03:53:00.001+08:00

I got my job on the first round of interview. And yes I don't have much network knowledge. Why was I chosen to fit this role?

I think the answer that I told my boss. I know the job scope pretty well! Network engineer need to be 24x7 standby. He likes it.

Ya I had been standby for so many times. Woke up many times at night. On the laptop, jump into conferences call and start to troubleshoot. Wow. So exciting right?

Today right now, blogging now. Is gonna be 4am. I am still in my office troubleshooting some hardware issue.

Before that I am working afternoon shift, ends work at 8pm. I reached home gonna sleep and yes Hp rings. Went back to office to check. Seems like a power trip. On the power again and bye. Go back home. Without warming my bed, my Hp rang again. I got to go back office again. These time the root caused is found. So right now I m waiting for help.

Stress. Alone. Uncertainty. What can I describe?

There are nice stranger around.

2010-11-08T23:50:00.001+08:00

Over the weekend, a lot of things happened. There were happy moments and yeah upsetting moments. But well, I think how I treat others I will get back the same. What goes around comes around. With a kind heart, u will get nice thing in return.

The above two pictures show two cars. One badly injured and the other was just scratches. Hmm...
Guess u all should already know that the badly injured is my car. Well, today the owner of that scratched car had her bumper spray pain. Everything settled for the scratched car side.
Well, why I think i had met nice stranger was because they did not request for a new original bumper changed. Then they still worried about me for paying all the expenses. I tried to pay them the expenses for taking cab from workshop to work and fro. But they resisted it. How to find such nice people now. And the best thing they found out that i was driving my dad car. They worried that my dad will be angry with me.

This accident let me think that seriously nice people are around. Just that I didn't have the fate to meet more of them. I am glad that what I have now are also nice people around me. Seriously birds of the same kind will flocks together.

Lesson learned. Well, I need to pay more for my damaged. Not just the bumper. Still got the past few damages. Well, a valuable lesson.

Have a little faith

2010-11-06T13:04:00.001+08:00

Telling myself that in love I should have faith. In work I need to have faith. In life, I must have faith. Hopefully after reading this book I have all the faith. Jiayou. Progress and succeed in my life. Have a little faith...

Morning jog at ecp

2010-11-06T13:02:00.001+08:00

A morning jog started at 530am. Simply a good day to start with. Nice sun rise nice air nice scenery. followed by a hearsay nice prawn noodle at bedok south. I think it is only so so.

Anyway life is great! Doing the things that you like!

Sunset

2010-11-05T10:01:00.001+08:00

I was on my way home. And I saw these nice scene. Using iphone4, I managed to capture the following.

Anyway, all I wanted in live is someone who can watch sunrise and watch sunset with me. I just a simple person who just need some simple thing which is company. That's all.

Nice evening with bff!

2010-11-03T23:04:00.001+08:00

Though it was sinful to have ice cream and chocolate!

Seriously, last time I was thinking of drinking beers and beers. Right now I really appreciate the friendship we had. Though no beers but the ice cream really taste good! I think is the company!
Thanks my darling! Lolx. We will be friends forever!!!! Really had a wonderful night!

Soul mate

2010-11-02T23:47:00.001+08:00

I had been looking ard for soul mate. I thought I had found the one. But well, I am too impatient and I screwed up many things. I guess this is life, we can't get smooth flowing.

Just when I realized I lost it, I really just want get back to the past where we were happy. I guess the moment when u realized u lost the one u love most of us will try everything to get back and this might accidentally hurt everyone.

I saw the pictures we took. These are memories. I wanted to start all over again. Will u give me that last chance? Will u?

Convenience

2010-11-02T19:02:00.001+08:00

This is damn bloody cool. Can blog mobile. I loving it.

Iphone4

2010-11-02T14:01:00.001+08:00

I saw the staff sales for iphone4. And immediately I thought of buying it for you! Hmm.

i like this adapt from some show

2010-10-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

向来风来疏竹，风去而竹不留声。
雁度寒潭，雁去而潭不留影。
一切都是来去无中，过眼云烟罢了。
所以生命短暂，人要活在当下。

I like this story, adopt from "have a little faith"

2010-10-26T23:41:00.002+08:00

A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply, 'He sleeps in storm.'

The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man.
Several weeks passs, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley.

Awakened by the swirling rain adn howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly.

So he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed.

He runs out of field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins.

He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry.

And then he understands. " He sleeps in a storm."

My friends, if we tend to things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith, our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulifiled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I could have, I should have.' We can sleep in storm.

And when it's time, our good-byes will be complete.

Diving in Tioman

2010-10-24T22:31:00.002+08:00

I went to dive over the weekend for my advanced diving certification.
At first my thought of going for lesson again really made me sad, as i will need to go through the "tekaning" sessions. But it turned out to be fun. It was very fun! I think the best diving trip ever!

A new self discovery for myself through the diving trip.
I thought i got claustophobia, but it turn out that my night dive was fabulous except that the visibility is low. We still managed to see a giantic turtle, as big as a small car!!! I see puny shrimps! hmm I think i had overcome my fear.

I cant read maps! I cant really nagivate properly on my sea nagivation test underwater... but i managed to pass. I learned to use compass!

Diving indeed needs a lot of energy. We need to really have enough rest the night before to commerce the dive... so please rem to rest well the night before the dive!

Diving seasons going to close soon, which means that tioman and those island at the east coast of malaysia will be closed. I think my diving chapter will be temporary closed for a moment. unless Diving in singapore!

Anyway super tired now, I practically slept the boat journey back to the land. I thought i can sleep in the mini bus, but i cant. cause the driver was driving very fast over the bends. think now i am super tired...

It was indedd a very good trip! good food! good friends made and yeah! nice turtles and nice lessons!

Reviewing my past blog

2010-10-21T00:09:00.002+08:00

This is like reading ur own diary, but the difference is that this is electronics.

I think a couple of years ago I did review my blog. Right now I am doing it again, still in the process but almost done.

Some part of the blog, told me to treasure what you have and count ur blessing. Yes at some part of my life, I was LOST. seriously lost! Be it in work, relationship...
Lost for quite sometimes, finally i hope i am not lost again.

Right now, I am doing the same old thing again, counting my blessing. bear in mind that i am not boasting in my blog. Just afraid people had other thoughts.

1)I am the youngest in my family, thus i got a bit pampered.
2)I had alot of admirers when i was young, i dont know now. Probably still have.
3)I get to drive a relatively new car when I passed my driving, and my dad was not with me.
4)I get a new car to drive when I started my university.
5)I get to stay in hall for my university life.
6)I get to choose which room to sleep now.
7)I had good bosses in the past and also now.
8)I had wonderful colleagues.
9)I had super good secondary school friends...
10)I had many many good friends who i can share everything!
11)I had good siblings and wonderful parents!

What is more for me to ask?

Anyway, saw this article about Bill Gates telling us, life is not fair get used to it.

I would say, Life is indeed not fair, count ur blessing. Your life is definitely better!

Dont compare.

LIFE is wonderful!

闲

2010-09-26T22:53:00.002+08:00

什么叫孤独？
什么叫闷？
当我想要多一点时间陪你，我就陪工作所困。
当我想和你像以往的过去，你却离我而去。
当我很闷的时候，你却不里我了。

A emo day.
I wanted to find someone to chat, everyone seems to be busy.
I just want to chat be it over msn, sms or what's app. I dont even have the intention to ask anyone of u all out. Just wanna find someone and chat.

Life is really boring now. really, when i am doing bank project, I dont have time to be alone to think. This caused me to be stress and lost of confidence.
Right now, having a blissful life of going back home on the dot made me feel that I am bored. How I wish i had this life previously, and yes, with that at least i wont behave so weird.
I think my behavior become eccentric when i am stress! Each of us behave differently when react to stress. and also when u lost something that you really love, something that you can even die for. hmm anyway, it doesnt matter now.

Life is full of regrets. Take it as a pinch of salt. that's what make life interesting? right?

New environment

2010-09-21T23:02:00.002+08:00

I had asked for a transferred to another department and now i am happily there! People there are nice people, as good as the people in the hub. Right now, my clearance had not been cleared so well it is quite uneasy for me because my movement is restricted. sigh. anyway, if i didnt get the cleareance cleared, i cant do anything. well, so right now, had been quite slacking. that is why i really treasure the time right now. and yes, i started to love public transport. I had not drive to work since i went over to to bedok. hmm I think is a good start off. Anyway, the first day in hub i didnt drive too! haha... so nice to back to the basic.

as i was saying, i am reading some stuff over the internet and notice something very meaningful...

"as others have said, no one is perfect and neither are you or your gf/bf, but both of you must come to an agreement to make it work. a loving relationship doesn't just 'happen', it takes hard work. couples who are happily married for decades upon decades will tell you it's about loving and putting the other person before yourself because you know that your partner will also do the same for you. and that is something that is not very easy to do, especially in such times where personal individuality is put before all else."

in a relationship, it should be a two ways communication. no point only one person is putting in all the effort and the other party doesnt really appreciate. thinking and thinking, it may be my fault, but well, was it really my fault only?

it maybe a pity to me now... but who knows some time down the road. it may be urs... well, life is hard, in the sense that we all have regrets. Move on bah. All the best to you and take care!

hmm to add on, I was sharing some thoughts with my friend and it came to a light that in a rs, the person who hurt the most will be the one who wants to drift away from the other party. for example, if the gal hurt the guy too much, the guy will think of ways to drift away so that he can totally forget about the past, and vice versa. hmm... so right now who had hurt who most?

being together once, had already made each of us to rely on one another. thus it also unknowningly made each of us to think that we do this and that is normal and this may result in getting some argument of taking each other for granted.

haiz... it is so complicated that once after a rs and wanting to be normal friend is so hard. is the gal really giving u a chance or is she just thinking because last time u do this now u also need to do this even if right now we are just friend??

my friend told me to be heartless... i still love her so much that just some request like a normal friend request though i can easily reject, but i am still willingly to do it in the process of hoping to gain back her liking to me. but ended up not appreciate by her, get scolding from her. ended up hurting myself. what for my friend asked.

hahaha... life is like that...

爱情

2010-09-15T23:16:00.002+08:00

看过going the distance我才发现原来爱情也只不过如此。
有爱必有嫉妒心。
有爱必定会为对方着想。
如果没有以上的，还算是爱情吗？

现在再看一本书，是关于这么才会让人生开心。
此书所说的是不管人生多么艰苦，人还是会开心。可能那些没有经历过辛苦的时刻反而不开心。
很有意义的一本书，我还在看。

离

2010-09-14T22:33:00.002+08:00

收拾好包袱，走向生命的另一的十字路口，希望这次能不会再犯犯过的错误。虽说人生就是体验过程，但我真的不想再卷入这些风波。我真的累了。好累好累。真的希望我能从心开始。祝你好运，幸福。也祝我自己好运，幸福。我会克服所有眼前的问题。

what kind of person i am...

2010-09-06T23:57:00.003+08:00

i am just a simple guy. Seriously a simple guy. I dont need to have all the money. I just want to spend time with my love one. Everyday, see her happy, be with her. I want to hold her hands and walk with her till death parted us. If it is within my reach, i will do for her. yeah, every guy will say this when they are after the gal.

and yes, every gal will also be very nice to the guy and do whatever she can to love the guy.

We are behaving in a same way...

After seeing the video at the fb, i realised something... I am not the guy who describe in it.

Anyway, I am regretting the way i treated u... seriously regretted. now i think there is no way to turn back time. If you would give me a chance again, I hope I can do better. yes... better.

Love requires both party to commit. If one party would not want it, it will never happens. This is a pity. Anyway, i am a simple person, I just want a status in a relationship(because I know i will love u one and only and no matter what i will give you what i can) and yes thats all. Is status really so hard to give? I can hide everything in front of our friends. But i just want to let my family knows that I got a gf... for maybe my loves one(family) will not be there the next moment... Is status really that hard when we had already done so many things? and I had never run away with other gals? though i may sweet talks to other gals, but is just sweet talk, we didnt do anything else.

Maybe is fate bah... Things happen for a reason. alot of people say that I deserve better, sometimes i dont agree. but situation happens and I think I really got to swallow all my sorrow and move on, unless... it will never happens.

Life is hard, move on gay!

Tired.

2010-09-05T22:43:00.002+08:00

These few days I didnt really do alot of things but I kinda of feeling very tired. Probably there are still lot of things in my mind not yet settled. Or maybe they cant settle.

Anyway, sat went drove about 1hr to Bollywood for lunch, then 1hr ride to ice edge. and then another 2hrs spending money on Transformers! hmmm then at night watch movie.

sun, went to climb but didnt really climb alot. then movie again!!! then grandma house. hmm didnt really do alot of things... but i am very tired! dont know why... probably mentally also tired...

I need holidays and my grandma after so many times of considering to go back China, she decided to give a miss... there's goes my holidays... hmm i will go and looked for myself...

sian... tml need to work...

What is Life?

2010-08-29T00:27:00.004+08:00

I think people do stumble with this question on and off. Some with religion as background to support their life. Some just live their life with no goals and do not know the outcomes.

I had been thinking lately... Work, relationship, money, life. Maybe that was why people thinking I am pessimistic, negative and emo...

hmm... so what is your purpose of life? I think the objective of life is simple, Happy. But I think life is abit of irony. when there is a positive, there is a negative. In order to be happy, u need to know what is sad. And when u feel the sadness, you will appreciate the happiness more... Life is a balance of everything, work, relationship and your own life.

As a fresh grad, some people might already had the focus to accomplish alot of things when they endure and pursue. Like my sister and bro-in-law, they are fast. Fast to get married, fast to give birth. Hmm, and yes, I believe they had move on together and share the common goals which made their marriage work out... Really envy them.

Back to me, I was thinking about work. For the past few months, I was really LOST. lost in the sense that I had to ask myself what am i capable of? Really lost of confidence in myself. Hopefully I can stand up again.

In relationship, I really dont know what i had done. But to me, some people think i am a flirt, but people who really knew me since young told me, I am not. Thanks! I think i am not too, just that sometimes i will be “口花花" i dont think this is flirt bah, in office, in the society who doesnt do that... I learnt for my experience I need to be 100% faithful to the person and yes I did learn. I may be close to other gals, but i will not do anything that is unfaithful. Is just normal gentleman will do. Maybe you dont know me well, for at least my 14 yrs old friends know me better... u think by going out with me for the past few months I can get to know u understand you? i dont know.

In life, is forever learning that is why we called it University of Society. I trying myself very hard to learn. We are all adults, we had hard time learning. Mistakes will be made, and made again. I never scold any people nor blame any people who had made repeated mistakes.

Yes you will say that there are different level of mistakes. Some can be forgive some cannot. To me nuthing cannot be forgive. Life is hard already, why still rem all the grudges? yeah after reading this, u might think of different ways to counter my thinking. Yes, this is my thinking, my philioosphy, you had urs too. We are all special people with our own thinking in this world. I never want to enforce my thinking to you thinking. We make peace and not war! That is why I still wanna say this is my comments and if u do not agree u can kindly tell me what you think and we can accomodate each other.

Nothing is right nor wrong. We just need to be open. Am I not open enough?

I think I can't work late...

2010-08-22T01:17:00.002+08:00

Everytime during wee hours, my mind will start to think, start to have some philosophied mind...

anyway, just finished "Aftershocks" on some online movie. Really touching and I learned something about there too. How to love a gal...

To me, loving a gal is to give her all my love... but the movie tell me something different... not only do u need to give her all ur love, but u need to understand her needs as well.
there were a saying you cant understand gals, but the irony part is that u need to understand them... and to give her all ur love...
I just wondered.

had been looking listening through some songs...

2010-08-21T03:38:00.003+08:00

悲伤止步

如果這是我愛你最好的距離

相遇太早

爱一个人好难

Counting your life blessing...

2010-08-21T03:17:00.002+08:00

After some chit chat with my managers, I realised alot of things in the office.
I really had good Managers, aka Reporting Officer and also good colleagues around.
I think they knew about my personal problems too. Sigh, I am also quite sad to leave them, but the thought of current project really give me a nightmare. Seriously nightmare, I dont know how to describe, but yes... I really need a place to rebuild my confidence level again.

I hope I still can come back here... I will miss you all here...

Is life about struggle?

2010-08-19T08:42:00.002+08:00

thinking back the times... I know i should not do so... but then we need to learn from history... well... just let me continue...

back in the years of schooling...
we struggled our exams... we had fun... we move on the next phase of life, and we started to appreciate the past struggling period.

Back in the years of army...
we been through all the shit... all the tekan-ing session... we made friends and we appreciate each other better and of course now reviewing back... we really appreciate and love those times...

now in the real working life...
we not we anymore... is just me, myself and I, 3 of us... haha positive saying...
anyway... sometimes i just wonder, are we suppose to do this struggling and then in the future we will get the fruit of what we sowed?

I wanted to give my shot, but everytime i kenna hurt... is this the correct way? is my thinking i know...
or is it i have no passion at all?
if so
what can i do?
re-discover my passion?
sometimes... I believe, is at the correct moment you do the correct thing...
I was given this position at the correct time and i accepted it... thank you for that...
but do I have the passion to continue? if so why am I still procrastinating...?
you get what i mean?
PROCRASTINATION = u have no passion or maybe u have the fear in urself?
What u want in life? -> I seriously cant answer this... can you?

我想伤心会停止的

2010-08-17T22:02:00.001+08:00

不喜欢怀疑什麽
并不表示我没有感受
看你微妙的变化慢慢不同
我不是生气只是心痛
最讨厌被误会了
但越解释越觉得难过
你可以说人会变但不能说
你会这麽做是我的错
哭过就好了伤都会好的
这样相信所以深呼吸着割舍
爱是为了拥抱为了牵手
不是为了争吵为了调头
哭过就好了痛都会走的
记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的
失眠听歌想念虽然苦涩
还是谢谢你让我长大了
越多美好堆叠的过往
想忘就得推倒更大的悲伤
要找勇气却不在口袋或手上
但它一定在我身上某个地方

A nice feeling

2010-08-15T01:14:00.003+08:00

Going back to NTU to do some stuff for work...
On the way back, the road seems to be so nice...
A feeling I cant describe, lots of memories, lots of nice feeling.
Feeling wanting to go back and study, but we all know the fact that once the phase is over... going back then again is a totally new feeling...

How cant we stop time for the moment? I wish I can. Everybody wish too!

anyway, I can forsee my myself to be quite depress these few weeks...
Just let me depress, I hope I can get up again faster...
Wish me luck!

Thanks!

complex feeling...

2010-08-11T20:58:00.004+08:00

I dont know should i really put a stop, so that my heart will not ache anymore or not...

Just when i wanted to... my heart melts...
just when i decided to... i cant...
why is it so hard for me to let go...
why???

people might already take u for granted because of ur soft spot...

sigh...

think tonight i will cry myself to sleep again...

beautifully explained.

2010-08-01T14:22:00.001+08:00

I will learn to be...
Maybe yes... I am wrong...

想通了！

2010-07-20T21:36:00.003+08:00

I just want a simple thing... but...
U told me I mess up ur life, but you also mess up my life...
I really just want a simple thing when things are already going so smoothly...
whatever you told me, it was already in my mind that I want to do it with you.
anyway...
u show all ur true color...
thanks...

Time to wake up boy...

2010-07-19T00:33:00.003+08:00

Yes...
I should wake up now...
Realising everything is just not compatible...

A couple should be understanding to each other...
A couple should be loving to each other...
A couple should forgive each other...

We have no love... just infatuation between us.
Thank you for letting me know the lesson of love and infatuation.
Thanks for the happy moments...

爱情必须敢爱敢恨！
我做不到。
我是一位只要一但付出就是会爱你。爱你多过我爱我自己（很多女孩都想要的，你却不要）。我会把一切给你，只要在我的能力范围。
在爱你的过程，我会不小心的伤害到你，也同时会伤害自己。你能了解吗？
我想，我痛苦又痛哭了好几个月，你是不会了解的。你能感受到吗？
只因为我所谓的小事，你却认为是大事而变成一种惋惜。
而你认为的小事，我却认为是大事，但我却无声的任命，接受一切的痛苦。
因为爱，我原谅你不小心伤害我。
两人在一起，难免会有争执，摩查，你就因为这些事把这段情抹杀了，好残忍。
我只是想心平气和跟你聊一聊，可是你对我的偏见犹如我被打露十八成地域，永不抄身。
实在无法的跟你沟通。
可能老天爷要让我知道些什么。。。
可能老天爷要让你知道些什么。。。
我想我需要像你一样，恨下心来。。。
男人的多情善感，只不过是让女人觉得烦。
女人的无情让男人痛哭了整个月，无法路眠。
是时候了。。。
梦也该有个了断了。。。
该时候醒来了。。。
不要再执著了。。。
加油！
我会活得更精彩。。。

i cried again...

2010-07-11T18:59:00.001+08:00

yes... i think i screwed things up again... when things are getting better for us...

I think she will never forgive me again...

anyway... ... ... ... ... ... ...

this is the second time

2010-07-02T18:03:00.002+08:00

second time I see a dead body...

first was 10 years ago... my grandpa...
second was now... my aunt.

quite sad for her... cos being the eldest in family... she had to take care of the family... the saddest part, she did not married. she had no children...

I went over in the afternoon, saw her body, drops quite alot tears...
when i was young... she will always give me money to play tink tam... you know those that put coins and turn then the round balls will roll out... ya... she dote on us when we were young...

ya... memories flashes back... tears keep rolling out... until the door closed... haiz... everything comes to an end...

read a book and found this quite meaningful...

2010-06-24T19:09:00.002+08:00

I will remember this...

When we're angry, we're scared.
When we're worried, we're scared.
When we're jealous, we 're scared.

FEAR... is the word I can described for the past few weeks...
Many things happened,
People reading this will sure say is your mentality and stop putting blame, or finding excuses for urself. Yes, I agree with that, but things happened for a reason.

Things happened for us to learn. Well, all I can say is I screwed up. I screwed up so many things at a go... in work, in life, in everything.

But what i felt, what contribute to all this stuff is my mentality. I am not strong, not defined, not whatever... I should not have join in this project... but then if I were not in, I wont discovered myself... I still learning...

surely, Love is experiencing wihout judgement, I thought this was true... but each of us has this conditional love in our mind, even though we are practising to have unconditional love for our love ones. I believe, we all have blood in our hands, we are not sage. We will make mistakes. everyone of us wants to be forgiven. wants to be forget...

Whatever it is... I shall not worry any more and care any more... because, if things i can do i already did, there is no way for me to worry anymore. Things if i cant do, I worry so much also cant help...

Anyway, I tried my best to be what i suppose to be... if you think you dont want me to do it... I shall not do it anymore... because i really have no idea what u want me to do... maybe by not doing anything, things will be better? I doubt so... I think you give up on me... that's all i have to say... if you read it... hope u know what i mean, if not it also doesnt matter anymore...

不值得

2010-06-20T15:36:00.002+08:00

hmm, went shopping just now... and came upon a pot of roses...
I just thinking... in the past that I had wanting to buy you roses...
I just thinking to buy and put on the desk in the office to surprise you again...
but...
my friend pull me away...
my friend told me... 不值得。
hmm
probably is not worth it.
maybe you may not be reading my blog for long... dont know what i had gone thro...
or maybe u had and think i am just being childish and stupid.
but...
what i am going thro is what u are going thro...
u just need to calm down and think...
anyway...
i did not buy the flowers... cause... well...

40km cycling route

2010-06-16T00:01:00.002+08:00

wow... i cant believe i finished it...
dont know tml my legs will be wobbling or not...
anyway... is quite a nice route... i think is a long forgotten route...
tried it like 10 years ago... but now with a shorter mileage.
still the most dangerous part is still at adam and lornie rd... so scary!!!

well, is over, to try again? i dont know... maybe...
when i got a helmet and a new bicycle?

hurt once more...

2010-06-14T00:10:00.001+08:00

i getting hurt once more... someone please slap me hard... i just need u to slap me hard... friends... i know u are there for me... why u all never stop me from doing it...
I really need people to hold me back!!! seriously...
I just need a tight slap...
please...
anyway... maybe this is retribution?
really cried... my heart is so painful...
can hardly breathe just now...

I like this...

2010-06-12T20:39:00.001+08:00

Lift isnt a smooth sailing ride.
Imperfection is a beauty on its own.
The act of acceptance of the past and embracing the future is what matter.
Don’t let the past hinder your progress in life. Embrace the lessons that you had learnt and make full use of it.
Learning to forgive and forget is a gift on its own.

Hopefully...

Vice Versa?

2010-06-12T10:51:00.004+08:00

I can forget and forgive you on all the bad events that you treated me.
BUT
are you able to do that? I know I cant force...

Does that mean the love for you is too deep? in a way i always hurting myself and maybe hurting u?

I know love is not about balancing..
I know love is not about calculating...
I know love is not whatever...
I give so much it may not be returning so much...

I think yes... is all my fault...

Clubbing

2010-06-12T00:00:00.002+08:00

This should be my second time bah...
anyway... is the company that counts bah...
I did enjoy!

Well friendships forever!

I reached home about 5am... wow... really late.. the next day still need to work! hahah think i today really shag out... and i think through the tiredness, one can really know what they like... because passion can really make your day!

I think i know what i want... jiayou and stay focus!

figure out something...

2010-06-06T22:02:00.002+08:00

i really appreciate what "she" said. Friends will never walk with you till your grave, only the person who loves you WILL. Imagine she was 16 yrs old then can tell me such profound stuff...

Along the years, I had been pounding over what she said and realise this is sooo true... now, I encountered the same situation, just that the character had been change. The person who I love, who I can cried so badly, who I can endure her nonsense did the same thing as what i did to her...

I know... is my fault, but would you want a person who loves you so deep or rather some other person who dont give a damn to you?

I choose the first.

Anyway, really envy her ex-boyfriends who can stay with her for so long...

God, I admitted my mistake for treating her badly then, I learnt. Please forgive me.

Retribution... I know...

I cried...

2010-06-05T10:21:00.002+08:00

I cried myself to sleep yesterday...
it's been a long long time... since i cried so badly...
I think the last time was when i fell down...

Well, all these days... my heart has been controlling what I do... because follow your heart...

I will learn to use my mind now.

A lesson learnt. Make no mistake, because it will not be erased. Ironically, if dont make mistake you never learn...

you people will say... to define the seriously of the mistake... well, it all depends how to measure it.

so we live in this world once, can we count the good times we had instead of remembering the bad things which ruins everybody life?

Move on...

let me be myself

2010-06-03T22:51:00.001+08:00

how?
change thinking?

Wedding dinner,

2010-05-30T00:02:00.004+08:00

I think this is the worst wedding dinner I had ever attend.
hmm wonder the host knows it?
Anyway, is my long distance relatives.

Well, going to this wedding make me think...
I discovered a new red wine, Fortunella, is a sweet red wine. I like.
anyway... life goes on...

I will do it man!
time will eventually pass...

Vesak Day

2010-05-29T00:32:00.003+08:00

What is Vesak day? Without further google-ing, my answer is the birth of Buddha.
So what is Buddha means? -> the enlightened one.
Hmm, someone once told me, Buddhism is not a religion. Buddhism is just a teaching.
Teachings of how to live your life.

When I was in primary school, there was a voice inside my head asking me, why do we need to go through the stages of life... but i ignored. It had been in my heads since then until army. I think I had simply ignoring the call until it has been just a habit...

Well, I did go and study, read up some books... there are simply stories... Buddhism got this kind call zen, which they would not tell you the answer, simply because there is not correct answer, and yes, in life there is not right or wrong.

Probably today, I had mis-interpret it.

Anyway, just to share, hope someone could enlighten me about what i interpret...
I believe Buddhism teaches "contentment", meaning to tell us to be contented, but well, if you are contented, there wont be progress you will be stagnant, and once you are in your comfort zone, it is very dangerous. I believe, "who move my cheese?" already told us this story.

Then I was thinking, maybe this logic doesnt apply in all the senarios of our life?
then again, what is the ultimate goals in your life?
You do something because you are happy with it and it also provide others the opportunity to be happy. then again, you can't make everyone happy with your idea.

I totally confused.
There are so many things that is inter-connect, inter-links.

You work because of money and money will bring you happines by using it to do something that will make you happy.

Of course not all the time work because of money, work also for passion. though not always the time but who dare to say they work without passion, if that is so, the person could have quitted on the first few days or weeks.

Come to relationship, if two people are happy with each other, why do we need to have so many concerns? I maybe simplifying everything, but isnt life should be simple? I may sound selfish. People might say me being an ostrich. but I really simple dont understand, is just BGR, and not like saying to be to be live long partner. I do agree that to a certain extend, yes some people just want to be very safe to test it out during the BGR period. But I think and it may diffs from people to people, that isnt that the period of BGR? when guys will treat gals well and vice versa? I totally confuse... maybe I just should be back in the mentality of my poly period, where i dont need to care so much about all this things...

Work, relationship, luckily, I only got these two problems.

Anyway, I just longed for someone who can love me the way I love her. Though i know love is not fair, I just want some one who can give me support. Both mentally and physcially. I didnt ask too much, did I?
Someone who can say, I love you and give me a hurt, when i tell her I am very sian with my work and the stupid bank.

Okay shall not think so much, I had done what i suppose to do. I think i had repay enough... I should...

Regrets.

2010-05-18T23:23:00.003+08:00

hmm, sometimes, i just think we can reverse back time, will you treasure that moment more?

if so, will you take it for granted that we can always go back time and re-do?

maybe this is what makes life meaningful. all the things be it good or bad that you have done, can never changed. so well, next time before you make any decision or maybe some stress or even you are in the midst of blood bursting... breathe! and THINK!

I think i regretted... but what can I do now. I think saying sorry also cant help.

Well, once broken it will leave a crack... so hopefully the other party would forgive and give this crack a beautiful meaning to it.

I hope she can...

Simple life, realisation...

2010-05-16T23:58:00.002+08:00

I just did a e-donation... though the amount is not alot but I feel happy.
Anyway, trying to dig something out of the old blog using geocities.com, ya it was already removed but luckily, i stil managed to archive the files.
Anyway the story goes like this
Once there was a nun who lived in a cave, who was happy with a simple life with few possessions. One day, she discovered a hole in her robe, and decided to shelter a cat to keep the mice away. Then she discovered she needed to feed the cat, and went to ask for a pot of milk. Later, she decided it was better to get a cow, instead of asking for milk everyday. The next day, the cow mooed so loudly that she could not practise meditation. She had to gather grass for it, in the process hurting her hands. She decided to ask for a sickle. With too much time spent looking after the cow, milking it, feeding it and clearing its manure, she decided to get a cowherd. To shelter the cowherd boy, she had to get timber and tools to build a hut. With not enough food for herself and the boy, she decided to plant her own food. Soon, she needed to build and mend fences for the crops, and to harvest, wash and cook, leaving even lesser time to meditate.

One day, a man visited to enquire on the Buddha's teachings, to which she replied, "Not now please - I'm too busy!" The man remarked, "Even a layperson like me has the time to ask about the Dharma, but a nun like you do not have the time to answer my questions. What then is the point of becoming a nun?" Realising her mistakes, the nun returned everything to their previous owners and apologised to the man, inviting him for discussion of the Buddha's teachings at any time. Soon, she returned to her simple but happy way of life.

For those who had lost your way in life... kindly review it.

Is failing IPPT a bad thing?

2010-05-16T20:33:00.003+08:00

hmm depends how u see it.
Actually deep from my heart, I want to pass! I tried my best, but still failed. I was sad though. However, today proved to me that one thing, there are two sided, the positive and the negative. It's all boiled down on how you see it! Anyway... is a blessing in disguise. I just hope that everything will be alright tomorrow. I need to check mail and prepare for tomorrow...

Not focus enough.

2010-05-13T23:11:00.002+08:00

yeah... I failed again...
Pull-up = 11 = 5 pts, situp = 39 = 5 pts, shorter run = 9.7s = 5pts, Board jump = 221cm = 3 pts.... and the stupidest thing => 2.4km = 13mins 02 sec = 1 pts == FAILED! Please try harder! haiz...

I think really is the stamina that is hard to build up... haiz... if i am in the army now... would i be able to try that hard?

Focus! Focus!

A well spend leave.

2010-05-04T22:48:00.002+08:00

hmm how to define a good leave spent?

I think i had one, last week!

went to tioman and relax.
then come back for a jog... not in camp but with someone i like watching me run round the track... feel so happy.

then after that went to chalet organise by my sis to celebrate my niece birthday!

well.. then play mahjong through the night!

then sleep another day!!

then went shopping! got myself a watch!!! a black chain watch which i had wanted...

think i spent a nice weekend... looking forward to the next one end of this month...

wondering where to go now! hahah...

long long long time

2010-04-27T00:35:00.003+08:00

Hi Silvia... Sorry for no updates! hahha been really really busy... Because... yes... work... and i think you know... ur bank... hahah...

well... just some updates... mainly... work... busy busy... ya... did go for a couple of interviews... but well... dont think they can match my current pay. I not saying those little pay job not good... I just cant bear to leave without getting the bonus... since is just like 3 months away? is long i know... but minus away my leave and reservist! and RTs! i think is quite near!

anyway... what can be interesting in a person? beside worklife, lovelife(family, BGR), money, my life.
work life covered.

lovelife... hmm... actually... haiz... i also dont know how to start...
but well... I normally wont say too much about my family life... just that someone in my extended family is seriously ill... and i just feel life is so short... haiz... then i just feel like doing something... but there is always consequences to bear... haiz...

anyway... my relationship is also in a mess... and i seriously giving up hopes... well... anyway that about it... i trying to forget this...

please dont ask me anymore... i will say when the time is ripe.

money... haha... finally struck toto... but it was 30 bucks. but i still very happy!

my life? haha just as boring... work work work sleep sleep sleep...
ya.. going malaysia again this weekend! so well enjoyz!! i love the blue sea and the blue sky... i hope i can enjoy and come back and hope that everything will be super fine! and less stressful!

Focus.

2010-02-21T19:12:00.002+08:00

FOCUS, and you will be success in life!

just came back from a visit from my HOD PE teacher house, and yes I met up with many seniors! and to my surprise! I met up with a senior who was my head prefect, my student leader senior!

he changed. well, maybe for the better. he is so rich, able to drive an R35, drive a BMW 7 series, 760 with a V12 engine! wow... never did i dream of anyone around me will be driving that. and yes he came from a neighbour school as me. Bishan Park Secondary school.

Well, he changed, but he still stayed so focus. I believed this is what it get him so far! at the age of 30. he attained so many things!

maybe i should learn from him! stay focus!

well, from another side, does he really feel happy? I dont know... but the amount of status, the money he got. I think to me as a person seeing him, i felt envy! not jealous... just envy.

To me, I told my boss before... money doesnt really make me happy, but from the encounter with me, yes... alot of money does matter!

what should i focus on now?

oh ya, he was in the marine industries.

last time before poly, i did think of going to marine engineering. yes. and i did think of going to be a "sailor", but as the years come by, my thinking swayed. but now again coming to think about it. maybe i should really think wat is my real most interest...

there is always cons and pros, and I believe, he did have many valuable experience in the open sea. kenna rifle pointing at his head, and meeting up with many police at the international sea, gf giving him problem that he did not care about her... etc.

can I feel bliss with what i am now?

life is choices. what you want depends on you.

let me think about it.

2010 chinese new year eve

2010-02-13T16:07:00.002+08:00

I am at my grandma house now!!! so early...
anyway... this year doesnt feel any new year mood. seriously... no new year mood, no valentine mood... no everything.
sian... maybe I have grown older... OLD fart...

maybe because too much work...
yesterday also not much celebration... no senior manager around to bring us to drink drank drunk...

anyway... yeah yesterday half day work then went to hong lim complex and then drink teh tarik!!! omg.. shouldnt it be beer?

anyway after that we went to sentosa for beer by the beach!! woohoo! that is wat i call mood!

then went to shopping for clothes.. spend quite a lot... sian this year spend alot on clothes... i think got like 300 plus... wow... ang bao dont know got so much or not... sian...

seriously, this few days had been really busy with work. see monday i reached home 1130pm tuesday i reached home 1030pm wednesday like 10pm. thursday is the only day that i can leave work early. but i went to climb!!!!! yeah!

ever since ANZ is in NCS... i had been busy... i hate it! hopefully it will be a better year ahead.... endure endure!

ya... still waiting for the steam boat to cook!
happy new year guys!

sian

2010-02-08T23:44:00.000+08:00

how to survive till end of july...
I dragging my days! I really feel so sian... wanna go but where can i go?
haiz..
sigh...
first job... finally i know... is VERY important!
hmm! super sian!!!!!

argh! someone please break me free!

random

2010-02-03T01:11:00.002+08:00

I dont know what or how or ya should i name this title of the post.
well, there are some thoughts in my mind now.
thoughts of running away.
thoughts of quitting.
thoughts of dreaming and never come back!

yeah... I know is all the negative thoughts!
I think I AM still POSTIVE! cause i still go to work and play hard.

well... the feeling of coming to this weekend really made me feel wth.
I dont know. need to be in the office to work over the weekend was like argh!

I know it was the nature of the job but hey... I quite tired of it.
maybe is not my passion.
but what passion is it that will stay throughout ur life.

I dont know.
Just now i was talking to a friend about my past job experience...
and yes, I told her that I liked what I was doing, in the factory sides, labour intensive, assemblies of machine, quality control, sanding of metals and removing of paints.
I liked. seriously the money is pathetic compare to now. but i loved it. I dont mind the labour intensiveness. I think is the sense of accomplishment when u are done with the parts and make something out!
ya... so how?
hmm...

last day of Jan 2010

2010-01-31T19:44:00.002+08:00

I think this will be a long post. Cause, I had not been updating this blog for long.
why?
1)Busy. YA, I KNOW, it is just an excuse.
Think of it now, I had been taking a part time diploma the last half year and I still can blog, meaning it is just an excuse.

Well, these few days, after new year. Its been a month! And yes after so many things happen... maybe i should just do an update, a blog of my short one "busy" month.

how to start with...?
1) work...
yes, I will use the word busy as an excuse again. Well, yes... I just had to do over the weekend over the night for my work. Sometimes, I start to think why am I doing all this siong-ness work. yeah, my friends told me, that well we need to achieve something through hardwork. But well, does this really pays off our hard work to achieve the joy?
I mean, work is just part of our life. of course, if work can be ur passion it is good. I cant see mine now.
Then why am I not moving on?
I did send quite a number of resume out, but i think there are alot of people better than me! well, i still waiting.

2) LIFE?
Enjoying my life but just still cant really enjoy because of above. Two days in the office overnight. Quite siong. anyway, really tried to relax my life by going malaysia, sentosa to get away of work. computers. sian.

3) LOVE?
well, i also dont know. I hope I can make the decision. but well, no point saying it out because u are not me. u wont know. even if i tell u is still from my point of view. for a relationship, we need to see both side. and not from me. well so i should remain neutral in this part.

4) AOB
hmm generally, I just need a long vacation. a rest. yes i need it. the last one that considered a rest was like 7 months ago. climbing trip.

who doesnt need that. haiz... I think i suppose. THIS is life. C'est la vie!

New year resolution

2010-01-05T00:14:00.002+08:00

well, this year i think i never set any resolution for me...
I also never really review the past one year..
it doesnt matter bah... cos every year i got resolution every will still come to an end. be it i fulfilled or not.

today talk to one of a uni senior. and he mentioned to me that siemens is a good learning ground. well, come to think of it, is NCS a good learning ground or i just refused to learn? i hope i am not.

anyway i think is time for me to really ponder over what i want... no point staying in the industries i dont like. i should really break it through... is time since i only have one year of experience... i should move on! but where?

please no military based! i want to use iPhone!

welcome 2010

2010-01-01T03:44:00.002+08:00

well... is a brand new year...
celebrating birthday with my friends....
buying transformers with my friends!
well... really didnt wanna welcome 2010. I seriously hope is a better year but how to when u know that the next 4 months you will be burning ur weekends off doing migration and migration... haiz...
dont really know how long i can take it...
seriously... one part of me wanna leave...
the other wanna stay to fulfill my thoughts that it is impossible...
haiz... dont know what to do...
i seriously cant see light at the end of the tunnel...
i just see a head light of an oncoming train!
omg...
can life be simple?
how i wish?
well... I just hope that things are better yes better... i think i need a break... but there isnt seems to have one.

think

2009-12-27T21:57:00.002+08:00

Is the fault lies on the guy if the guy were to like a another gal when he already have a gf?

or rather,

The guy is having more choices given that the gal does acknowledge her as his gf?

so whose fault?

haha

ANSWER: you are nobody to judge. as you are not the gal nor the guy.

why

2009-12-25T14:49:00.002+08:00

i just want a simple life... why must there be relationship? especially BGR? why?
I seriously going crazy soon....
why cant i get a gal who can love me back the way i love her?
why cant i get a gal who can like accompany more than she accompany herself...?
and worse...
why must the relationship be underground?
I think i going crazy...
Good gal are really hard to get now...
why do gals like to say this yet dont want to do this?
At the starting she wasnt like that...
at the start, everything is beautiful!
but coming to the end.... she start to become very i also dont know how to say...
can i stop the time and return to the start where everything is pure and sweet?
weeks after weeks... i was hurt....
months after months... i was HURT again... with the same old things...
I just want a simple love... reciporcal and pure and innocent...
anyway...
we did not even start yet...
why must it be the last day of the year or the starting of the year?
this will be the second time of it...
i hate it...
christmas isnt sweet...
new year isnt any neat...
didnt i treat u well enough?
i give up...
and hopefully i can give up...
i dont want to drag and waste YOUR time...
May i wish that i can embrace with a new life... love life...
I hope I can...
and I think I can!

when things goes well...

2009-12-13T00:02:00.003+08:00

A nice lazy saturday afternoon by the famous sentosa beach.
Watching bikinis babe and ang mo hunks on the beach, wow the feeling is super nice!
nua-ing by the deck of the beach... having some pizzas, chicken wings, breaded button mushrooms! yeah! then ice-creams!
WOW LIFE IS GOOD!
After that having good nua-ing... another set of good food at thomson rd!
wow LIFE IS GOOD!
but when things goes so smoothly... start to think of bad things will happen!
kenna arrow to do some co-ordination of work...
meaning i need to be at home doing work!
sigh... cant even go to si mu lu to pray for a good week ahead!
haiz... what to do?
sometimes, seriously thinking... yeah...
anyway.. i better go check out what i need to do tml!

Simplicity.

2009-12-02T22:47:00.002+08:00

When someone left, u will start to regret why u never treasure the time with them.
But when someone is around, u want to treasure the time. will u be able to do it without thinking so much?
I just want to do something that will make me and the someone happy... cos i dont know the next moment what will i become... then someone start to think complicated and yeah... more and more complicated things arise!

When I just wanna make my friends happy... people start to think otherwise... that i am trying to step many many boats!
why i cant just buy some present for my friends?
and do all of you wan to guess my motive?
I AM JUST A SIMPLE GUY!
I JUST want to be happy... make the people surrounding happy!
why do you all need to think so much?
WHY?
AND YES... do you need to question so much?
FED UP!

stress

2009-11-29T20:47:00.002+08:00

lately, had been stress with work stress with school work.
I just hope that everything will end soon!
Really soon...
haiz...
Is good to be a full time student... yeah
but it is tremedously not good to be a part time student...
well...
I really think so! haiz..
sian.
now... i got a project deadline, and yet... I think i our group effort is small.
haiz... maybe is just me... who contributed less...
till now what can I do...
just hope and pray that everything will be alright...
I not scared of failing now... the most is just a waste of 420 bucks...
haiz...
What i fear most was that I cant keep to this simple time management of my life,
how good can I do in the future?
and another thing was,
maybe i wasnt interested in what i am doing now... be it working... or my life...
and the latter was the question...
WHAT DO I WANT IN LIFE?
WHAT DO I FEEL happy in LIFE?
I can't simply lead a life that i am not happy with... and well end my life...
WE LIVE ONCE! We are not like game! where a reload to the save point everything can start all over again!!!

one year in NCS...

2009-11-22T22:58:00.002+08:00

hmm i am one year in NCS. got to think should i still be staying or not...
do i like my job?
am i really capable of it?
hmm
lots of questions just pop in my mind this few weeks...
and ya...
I think i had quite a few days of bad hair days...
mood swing!!
sorry...
but well...
what am i capable of doing?
or rather what do i like?